From very small children we are never taught how much power there is in spoken words.
This fundamental fact quite oftentimes gets overlooked, particularly in an age where you have a self-empowerment industry that has this unquenchable obsession with thoughts alone, even without considering the power of the spoken word. However, as a much younger person than i am now my tongue led me from one disaster to another, and i was totally oblivious to the real cause of my problems.
Very, very often when we come out with something negative and out of school we get people who will tell us in an off the cuff way ‘ You want to watch what you say’ and still, we do not register that warning with any idea of the implications of that truth. If we feel we are right and justified in what we are saying, even if it is negative, rather than take responsibility for the words we are putting out there we then get resentful at that very person that has, in all honesty given us one of the best pieces of advice we could ever receive.
I never saw this truth until many years after when i took stock of my life and the past experiences that were a part of it. Now a lot of determining factors at play here simply come down to the kinds of personalities that surround you in your informative years before the critical side of your brain fully develops. Were you privileged enough to have the right guidance in your life in your infant years, or did you grow up around people who had defeatist mindsets?
Environment and socio-economic conditions often play a huge part in deciding, collectively the dialogue and the quality of dialogue that leaves people’s mouth’s. For example did you grow up on a council estate where everyone was poor and struggling to survive, or did you grow up amongst role models who were responsible for their lives, who always looked for solutions, rather than problems?
I ask these questions because these factors play a huge role in how our brains develop and the beliefs that become ingrained in us before we get the chance to take stock of the quality of our lives or the lack of it. If we grow up around people who have negative beliefs about money, guess what? Exactly, we automatically take on those beliefs without question. Here is a list of the negative beliefs my mother would verbally amplify every time she got her hands on any amount of money;
- In one hand and out the other.
- If you get any extra money there’s always another slot for it.
- The money goes back to the rich.
- Everything is fixed. ( when she used to talk about the lottery or the program who wants to be a millionaire)
- Some people are not meant to have anything.
- Wish in one hand S— in the other see what gets there first.
I won’t go any further but guess where she got those beliefs from? Exactly, those who were closest who came before her.
Now although money and your beliefs about it and what you say about it are important, this is not the only aspect of life when you consider the importance of the power of spoken words, not just the words you speak but the words that come from others in their opinions about you.
For example, as a young kid i had a fat face and i was called all sorts of names like; ‘Big head small body’ and the relentless verbal onslaughts of ‘ You’ll never get a girlfriend and you will be a virgin for the rest of your life’
I had teachers that put me down and told me that i would never amount to anything, and i would never get a job’ This latter part of these few insults was one thing i never verbally reinforced to myself as i will state later in this post, but the first part of it was taken on board fully by myself and verbally acted upon.
These negative opinions from others overwhelmed me so much before i was able to take an over arching critical view of my life in later years that i feel that i never stood a chance for the very best part of my younger years, i do not say that out of a need to be self-pitying, i say this because this was exactly how it was. On the strength of the above if you feel that this little rhyme you were given as a child of; Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me’ are correct then i advise you think again.
When you come from a background of abuse and trauma, unless you know how to become self-aware and take back control over the words you choose to speak about your life then you are going to be like a novice surfer getting smashed against the sea wall over and over again. It took me many years of self reflection and much study of many topics to come to the realisation that our words we speak are like seeds, oftentimes creating the realities we do not desire or want.
The bible itself has some great and profound teachings on this very subject i discuss with you today. Through a lack of knowledge about the power of our words we collectively become unwittingly trapped by the very words we speak, and no one intentionally sets out to be trapped by their own words on a conscious level, no. The only cause is a plain ignorance of the fact.
How my understanding began with this topic was one Christmas 2014 i read an article online about the damaging effects of complaining and how it erodes happiness. I read the article about 10 times because i was totally blown away by what it was saying and it gave me a kind of eureka moment about why my life, in part had gone the way it had. I then researched other articles on the very same subject to get as many versions of this as i could. I then watched as many YouTube videos i possibly could on this subject, as i was hungry for more and things were beginning to check out as i was now able to do a better job of taking stock of my whole life.
Prior to this i had spent decades reading self-help books that gave no clue whatsoever as to why i felt trapped. Reason being as i mentioned above that these law of attraction peddlers are selling a magic pill that they are trying to convince us is activated by a positive thought, but thoughts only have power if you verbally or physically act on them. Everyone gets negative thoughts and you won’t ever stop that, the biggest challenge like Joel Osteen says is to not give them life by speaking them out.
For everything i have ever given life to with my words has always come to pass, and i can only speak from my own life experience. I never verbally reinforced the negative prophesies of my school teachers who told me that i was never going to do this, that or the other, etc…etc…
I have found jobs and i always find work no matter what. As for my personal life that unfortunately suffered because i reinforced the negative opinions of others with my own spoken words. However, it’s not all bad news as i am now armed with the truth about the power of words thanks to the many articles i have read, the many YouTube videos i have watched and to put the icing on this cake, my continuing efforts to practise gratitude every day of my waking life.
Just one last piece of advice to you the reader of this article;
Don’t get trapped by your words, and don’t let the negative opinions of toxic ignorant people dictate to you how you choose to verbally describe your life.
May the power of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.